What do our children see?

When it comes to our children, we think we know them inside out; we knew them as babies, we understood their uniqueness and had a sense of who they truly were; we studied everything about them with all their characteristics and unique flavour’s. Have we ever wondered what it is that our children saw when they looked at us? We are so used to considering our children from a parent perspective that we don’t often consider what they are looking at. What reflection have we been offering them?

They have most likely watched our every move and learnt what makes us tick. They may have observed a ‘do as I say’ and not ‘do as I do’ pattern of behaviour. They know very quickly where our double standards are, when we have an ‘off-day,’ when we ‘lose it’ and know when we don’t tell the truth. We can’t get away with anything, our every move is clocked – that is a killer.

There is no putting the family on a ‘no chocolate’ diet if we are chewing chocolate like it’s going out of style. There is no point becoming upset about the mess they make of their bedrooms or any space they use if our own spaces are not kept in order. We may think we are ‘on it’ as parents but they don’t miss a trick. Equally, they know when we are awesome, inspiring, beautiful and incredible. It’s a fact that we are modelling a way of life for our children to see and feel, we provide a blueprint for them to copy at any time.

So, what is the magic for us here?

If they are looking at us – let’s give them something to look at 😎

  • Building standards is not just for ourselves it is for all of us and sets a foundation for how we live together

  • Nurturing and caring for ourselves is our basic 101

  • Living a work ethic sets a standard for how we all contribute to the running of the family home

  • Communicating with decency and respect so everyone hears and feels that in practice.

What happens when we do this?

We offer each other a blueprint to live with for the rest of our lives. We may not see things magically change overnight, but it is a master-plan, that once felt and lived, is never forgotten.

Our potential as parents is to role model through the way we live​

what is possible in our relationships in life.


Further reading

Role modelling from the inside out

Short term respite versus long-term goals

Trust and truth in families