As a parent, we can think we are in control and that what we are struggling with is ‘hidden from the kids.’ We think that we are sheltering children from the harsh realities of the world so they can grow up unhampered by our worries, fears and woes. Perhaps we will go to extreme lengths to try and hide what is going on at home and what we are dealing with at work, in the wider family, in relationships, even in the laws and regulations of the country we live in and those countries that impact us all globally. How well are we hiding our challenges and in the end ... why pretend?
We can look like we are ‘living the dream, yet children are so perceptive, they see and feel everything …
...we are much less subtle than we think 😏
Kids know the moment we go into tension, stress or anxiety; they know every nuance of our behaviour and don’t miss a trick because it is all held as energy in the field around our bodies like a brail, ‘energy-brail’ they are finely attuned to read with no life training whatsoever. Our every move exposes us. Try as we may, we are exposed at every turn – energy-brail everywhere. Every time we walk across the room, go out the door, talk, wash up, do the chores, prepare a meal, interact with family, look after ourselves, value ourselves, talk about others, the standards we demonstrate we have, how much we want to control… in fact…
…. every breath exposes us for where we are at.
No matter how hard we try to be otherwise, we are, actually, fully transparent in how we live and move around in our environment, we are just masters of pretending that we can’t read energy-brail.
What if we took a different approach, embraced this transparency, and opened ourselves to learning from those who are more sensitive to it?
Children know when we are living a big cover-up and hiding our challenges. They may not be able to put it into words but observing children’s behaviour tells us everything about how we are living – if they are unsettled, are we unsettled, if they are shouting, have we been shouting (even if we are quietly shouting, that is still shouting 😏) Why pretend?
Children are great mirrors.
Would a change in our behaviour allow children to see that being honest about how we are feeling and (within reason) what is going on for us, is a positive way to live and is good for our mental and physical health and wellbeing? Being honest offers a transparency that says, ‘this is who I am, you can read me and my intention and decide if that accords with you’. We offer the reflection that it is ‘safe’ to live like this.
Being open and transparent and learning from children holds the potential for families to go to a whole new level of Love. This is a level where we can simply drop the ‘trying’, the lying, the pretending, the smoke and mirrors, drop the control and stop trying to contain hide is actually all too visible.
What an amazing opportunity we are afforded when we have children. To learn together and from each other - that is pure gold. No more pretending, rather truly equipping children to embrace transparency as a natural way of living. No more hiding our challenges, no more pretending = a reduced nervous system all-round 😊
Taking a moment of pause