Falling in love with appreciation

Are you ready to be off-the planet amazing?

Have you ever experienced someone telling you you are off-the-planet-amazing? 

It feels like the sun has just come out, like we have had a hug, but only words were spoken. We are all incredible but valuing that incredibleness is not always our normal range of behaviours. Imagine being valued for who we are, for our smile, our sensitivity, our cheekiness and our laugh - when someone tells us that we 'light up their day', of course we are going to melt, wouldn't we want others to feel that as well?

But how can we offer that level of appreciation to another person, let alone our 'nearest and dearest', when we haven't offered that to ourselves? 

Appreciation is the gift we can give everyone, no matter their relationship to us. There is no cost attached to it, therefore, it is not dependent on your affluence either. It is a simple life-changing moment we can share with children, teens and people of all ages. ​​It feels so great for children to have that confirmation for who they are, not for what they do. They finally feel it is not just about doing homework, the dishes, tidying their room or not getting on well with siblings, it is simply for who they are. 

  • Imagine if we appreciated our children for walking into the room - for standing there, doing nothing?

  • What if we could see the core of who this child in front of us is, and fall in love with the fact they are in our lives?

  • What if we fell in love with expressing like this over the barrage of must-do's and have-to's? 

Let’s face it, when this way of communicating is introduced in teen years they are most likely to react, at least until they get used to it, because teens need to acclimatise to big moves in the house - and this is a BIG move! They might even react and tell us to go away (or much worse) because to accept appreciation isn’t always easy, we need to build trust that there is no ulterior motive behind the appreciation. But if our teens can see how we are choosing to live, that we are bringing more appreciation to ourselves and those around us, if they can see that we have been building standards that we are not dropping below and role modelling those standards, then we are starting to have some credibility and can build that trust in our consistent expression.

Let's take a pause to review what we have deemed our priorities in life.

Surely, we would think we had our priorities right in life if we were paying the mortgage, getting a job, making sure there is enough food on the table, doing the dishes, cleaning the house etc. right? All of these are practical and important, we can’t deny that, they are a part of everyday life. Yet, what if we have missed out the biggest priority of all?

What if the biggest priority is to raise kids to be more than what they do or achieve?Appreciation is not about doing and achieving,

How about loving our kids and telling them they are incredible ​just because they breath (because they are).

This may seem as alien as ET to us right now, but we can make three, practical steps to make it our normal.

  1. Be open to the potential. There could be something in this – maybe we are amazing ‘gods and heros’ and ‘off-the-planet amazing’ – and it just needs a shift in perspective to see the truth of this.

  2. Be tender and loving with ourselves as we make changes.

  3. Refuse to have conversations that make you or other people ‘wrong’. This will take some focus and practice, but when you notice you are neck deep in right and wrong, judgements and blame, just stop dead. Start the conversation again later if you need to, but make it ‘right and wrong’ free for everyone because there is no space for appreciation when you are focusing on 'right' and 'wrong'.

Just these three points alone are pure gold if we make them a part of our life. There are many other practical tips to support this on the website, but most importantly - have fun with rediscovering appreciation for yourself – make it an experiment that you are going to test out thoroughly, inside out and back to front and explore how it changes things.

Are you ready to be off-the-planet amazing? ​This world NEEDS you!

Further reading

Rules, standards and boundaries

We are all kinds of awesome

Playful parenting

We don't live in isolation