Breaking the struggle with parenting


We often go through our parenting experience with a tension, a struggle or feel it’s super-hard, and there can be all of these at play at any one time. Why the struggle? Why don't we see the gold that is living within us instead of find ourselves creating a chasm of struggle? When we consider struggle like that, it is clear this is not just about parenting, this is about relationships, work, every aspect of our lives. It is about us and how we interact with all those aspects.


​When we start to un-pick the pickle we can get into and the tensions we feel in that struggle, we can often identify that there is an underlying ‘gap’ or reason within us that is allowing situations to run away from us, and that ‘gap’ is all too often called lack of valuing and appreciating the gold within ourselves and others.


This lack of value for ourselves is a pernicious virus, for most of us are raised to dismiss or criticise ourselves first and to value anyone before we consider ourselves at all.


A lack of self-appreciation can create a hardness or toughness and stops us looking at the beauty and the gold in ourselves. We can fall into battling and criticising ourselves and forget to appreciate what we bring.


We have not valued the need to value and,

we have not appreciated just how deeply we need to appreciate


We have been tricked into thinking that valuing and appreciating are trivial, and yet the lack of valuing and appreciating is often at the root of our issues. So, what does valuing and appreciating actually look like?


Could appreciation be that we hold ourselves as deeply, deeply, precious?

Could we appreciate to our bones what we bring to our life and everyone around us…our world?



Image by michel kwan from Pixabay​

 

Further reading

How a spec on the wall becomes a super giant monster

We are all kinds of awesome

Playfulness in parenting

We don't live in isolation