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why do we need Boundaries

11/29/2019

Why do we need boundaries? Quite simply, without boundaries a child is abandoned and terrified, constantly running anxiety. They may not show you their terror, but nonetheless it sits in the body and destabilises. For a child, not having secure and safe boundaries for their behaviour, their routines and their everyday living, the outcome is the child is living with a constant level of stress that exhibits in challenging and often out of control behaviours.

Image by Picography from Pixabay

Space for parenting

11/17/2019

Image by Mabel Amber, still incognito... from Pixabay

Two-thirds of working parents reported feeling too emotionally or physically drained when they got home from work to contribute to their family.
2019 National Survey of Working Families - Parents at Work, Advancing Parental Leave Equality Network

How is it that our lives have become so full that, when we get home at the end of the day, there is nothing left? The fuel that has kept us going all day has run out, having been used ‘performing’ at work, giving them our ‘best’ and our ‘all’, so perhaps it really feels like all that is left to take home is the dregs!

It is time to ask:

Where is the space for parenting our teenagers?

Trust and Truth in Families

11/9/2019

Trust is very important and yet trust is not reflected very much in society today as a valued commodity, and neither is truth. The Absence of trust can lead to increased stress and anxiety as a young person navigates life in all its splendour. So where does this relationship with trust start and how can we support our children to value trust as something they offer as well as receive as they grow into young adults in our home?

Chores - who needs them?

10/26/2019

The stereo-typical view of teens who won’t do chores is all too common– but are we leaving it 13 years too late to engage our teens in chores?

Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

Most of us remember the arguments we had with our own parents over doing chores; the family setting often turns into a full-scale battlefield with forays into arguments, skirmishes, and sometimes outright war, all over chores and the attempts to get growing young adults to be contributing members of the family. Chores are not cheap labour, we know we are training our children to be independent of us and therefore it is our job to share how to look after themselves and work as a team in the home. In this way, they learn what it is to be responsible in their lives and their communities.

Breaking the struggle with parenting

10/15/2019

All too often, we go through parent-hood with a tension, a struggle or feel it’s super-hard, and there can be all of these at play at any one time. It may be pertinent to start asking questions, such as ‘what is going on here? ‘why is this such a struggle?’ Why don't we see the gold that is living within us but rather find ourselves distracted by the chasm of distance between us.

Image by michel kwan from Pixabay

When we start to un-pick the pickle we can get into and the tensions we feel, we can often identify that there is an underlying ‘gap’ or reason within us that is allowing the situation to run away from us, and that gap is all too often called lack of valuing and appreciating the gold within ourselves and others.

This lack of value for ourselves is a global issue, for most of us are raised to dismiss or criticise ourselves first and to value others before we consider ourselves.

The Parent company training strategy!

8/23/2018

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Youth mental health is increasing on a trajectory we do not want. Parents across the globe are wondering why it is happening and how they can support their children and yet they are not prioritising time for parental support and ongoing education. Perhaps we need a home version of Continual Professional Development!

The rollercoaster ride of raising teenagers

1/26/2017

Image by Joshua Choate from Pixabay

Are you ready for a rollercoaster ride? That’s what it can feel like when raising teenagers! A mixture of mature and insightful conversation, independence and raging hormones. Everyone is back to having their L and P-Plates on.
I have found that the parenting skills needed in teenage years become more psychological than physical and much more about self-responsibility and mutual respect. For example where my children might not have called me to account for what I said versus what I do, my teenagers will definitely hold me to account if I do not ‘walk my talk’. Even if they don’t say it out loud…they have a radar for hypocrisy and it has been both very humbling and the greatest gift at different times.

Fear of standing out....f.o.s.o!!!

2/14/2015

Image by Colin Behrens from Pixabay

You have all heard of FOMO - fear of missing out but what about FOSO - fear of standing out? I know far more people who are living the second whilst being distracted by the first! There will be a number of variations on the theme of FOSO but this blog focuses on Fear of Standing Out as a result of observing all the cyber-bullying we see. It is written from personal experiences. A version of this blog was originally published on ABC Open.